Posted by Fidelity in
Well when beginning to type, I really don't know how to begin this post. My fingers did that thing where they move over the each letter making different words and ideas that in the end result in nothing. Like #*%$^& which was how taz talked on the t.v. show
So instead I will just start it off by a thanks report because I need to get out of this pity party that I'm throwing and instead rejoice in all the blessings I have. Just a side-note: when I first wrote down all my thankfuls it was short and simple statements, "I'm thankful for this and this etc." However, I realized how childish that looked and how important it is to put that simple word "because" after that simple sentence. (BECAUSE) When doing this, I will be reminded of every reason that I am thankful points straight back to my heavenly father. Isaiah 26:3 says "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose minds are fixed on you"
come on now... that couldn't be anymore true could it?
When I think about my life, my situation, my struggles... I get nothing but feelings of depression and self-inadequacy. But when I think about Jesus' life, Jesus' situation, Jesus' struggles... I get nothing but feelings of hope and desire.
I mean who would want that... ya you're right, I should keep my eyes pointed on myself!
...not quite
There's not much of a comparison or even much of a decision for that matter, between the two.
I am so thankful for church because every week I go... my soul thirsts for it. In church today I started doing math- (I know, scary thought) ha, but if there's 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week then that means there is 168 hours and 10,080 minutes in a week. If I can't offer 1 hour a week to my God and bring my butt to church on the weekends then something is extremely off with my priorities. For that matter I should be able to offer up at least 1 hour a day out of 24 hour a days. It's just crazy how we get so wrapped in culture and pace that we get so busy doing _______ (fill in the blank) that we can't even get enough sleep at night. I mean that's just bonkers to me. What can I be doing all day long that is that important and that time consuming. The best answer I can come up with is nothing. Worrying about myself, making myself happy, doing things for myself. Wow, I mean at least I'm not doing anything with selfish ambition. Ha. I wish I could say that. I wish I was constantly living in a service of servantude (new word... hmm, I like) ha. but yes I am thankful for church, and bible study, and discipleship and quiet time because without it I would be a wretched wreck... well more than that which I was already born into. Lord I pray that you, you provider of peace, you omnipresent power, you being of immutability... provide me with the talent to focus on you, to keep my heart focused on your ways... at times when I'm bitter, when I'm lost, when I'm close-minded. I thank you Lord for being there for me always, even when I turn my eyes the other way.
Well, I didn't plan on saying all that. Ha, isn't it just AMAZING and MYSTERIOUS how my Jesus my God, your Jesus your God works?! I love it. It keeps me on the edge of my seat, you just never know what the big man is gonna do. I LOVE YOU LORD. I am in a divine romance, with you. Thank you.
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