life and death

Posted by Fidelity in

So, I went to a funeral today. While sitting in the funeral listening about the life of a beautiful and loved grandmother of my best friend and sister, I sat in awe at the idea of death. The idea of an end to something. Because I know I am one not good with endings. That is the reason why I have to read in moderation. It might sound kind of weird, but majority of the time I can't read a book without reading it to its completion. I have to know what's next/ what the outcome is. And many a times this is how I am with my life. I'm not comfortable when I don't know what's in store for me. I don't like not knowing what I'm going to do the next day, or even not knowing who I'm going to see or what I'm going to wear. This idea of "not knowing" brought back a thought that I had the night before. A thought about fear. Fear is defined as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

The night before I attended the funeral was Halloween night. As we sat around the t.v. scrounging to find a scary movie to watch. (keep in mind, that my range of scary movies is about from "Twitches" to "Gremlins") i thought to myself... "why is it that I scare so easily?" In my opinion, fear is the most constant and easiest emotion to play on. Hollywood is constantly pushing for more horror more gore to thrill the latest generation of teens. But what is fear? Fear is being afraid of the unknown of the future. Not until I can learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable and strong in the fact that I'm not always in control then I wont fear. Throughout the Bible, Jesus tells us not to fear but instead put our faith in Him.

The funeral today brought this home for me. I have nothing to be afraid of because my God is in control. My God who created the Heavens and the Earth. There is nothing on this world with more power than my God. How blessed and undeserving am I. Thank you Lord.

food for thought: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away" The pastor didn't say this quote but something within me spurred this idea. That when I die I want to have been so on fire for life that I drowned in moments so big that they took my life away. I know, kind of ironic to drown when you're on fire... i know... I'm still working out the kinks to my philosophy. But I do know that I want my life to amount to something. I want my life to be one big breathe that I took. Therefore, I need to hurry and get ready and plug my nose as I dive into LIFE!

debate for the day: being cremated vs. being buried... I might be wrong, but I feel as if cremation is not so bad. It's cheaper and my soul is in Heaven anyway.

prayers of my life:

"Father God, thank You for Your grace and mercy in my life. Thank You for believing in me, for giving me a hope and a future. Today I choose to stretch; I choose increase; I choose to rise up higher so that I can be all You’ve created me to be. In Jesus' Name. Amen."

Dear Lord, I want to please you with my words of my mouth and meditations of my heart. I want to spark a revolution for our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I pray that you let my whole life be a blazing offering, a life that shouts and sings the greatness of the king. Bend me and mold me use me for your glory. In Jesus' name. Amen

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

2 corinthians 4:7-12

The gospel so much exceeds the law in glory, that it eclipses the glory of the legal dispensation. But even the New Testament will be a killing letter, if shown as a mere system or form, and without dependence on God the Holy Spirit, to give it a quickening power. (2Co 3:12-18)

Dear Lord, I need Your loving touch today. Let Your love song wash over me and fill my heart. I release my feelings of doubt to You and rest in Your undying love. In Jesus' Name, Amen.